Watch your languages!
by Darth Tater
Summary: Daniel comes home from work WOW!, only to hear loud cursing from next door... and not English cursing...


Spoilers: Beachhead kind of, not really much else

Disclaimer: Not mine. Not my plot;challenge from I don't remember where. Not my characters; the burglur's mine. Not my setting; belongs to local Colerado Springs government.

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Watch your languages!

Dropping his keys into an urn by his door, Doctor Daniel Jackson uncharacteristically plopped into an overstuffed armchair that looked extremely out of place in such an incredibly archaeological home. A large mix of ancient cultures for decorations could be seen in every corner and on every wall. He was just preparing to read some more on his latest book- Latin Linguistics _and Their Influence on Today's Culture _when he heard something completely unexpected. Someone next door was cursing, very loudly. Not only was this unexpected because he lived in such a mellow neighborhood, but because of the language.

_Now, what the heck could that possibly be? _ He thought before realizing just what language it was-Goa'uld. That _couldn't _ be good. Not only did most people not speak ancient Egyptian, but he almost recognized the voice. But no, it couldn't be… this meant investigation.

Slowly rising from his point of loungery, the man meandered out his door, over to the house next to his, and nonchalantly rang the doorbell.

"JUST A MINUTE!" a yell came from inside. Yup, definitely who he thought it was. What system lords would use that term? Only one person he knew would do that…

The door opened. The home owner was standing in the door slightly shocked. The visitor was standing on the front porch thing also shocked. A burglar was contemplating robbing the house with the door left wide open next door to where two random idiots were just standing there. The narrator was using no fluency whatsoever. The burglar decided not to rob that house because the way its owner was standing there acting stoned, he was probably a mob boss, drug dealer, or someone who could order him killed.

"So…"

"So…" _Wow, he's just a **great** conversation starter._

"What brings you to this neck of the galaxy?"

"You. I was bored with all my other boyfriends, and you know how I love a challenge."

"So, I'm a challenge now. I fell like I should be offended, but somehow I'm not." _Really, I should be offended. I mean, that's all I am to her?_

"That's probably good."

"Yes."

"So…"

"So…"

"Aren't you going to report me to the SGC now?"

"You know, I probably should, but I just came from there, and I really don't fell like going back now. I'll do it tomorrow." _Hmm, I seem to be feeling alright… she must have done something to me to make me say something like that. That sounds like something Jack would say._

Growing unhappy with the uncomfortable tension, the pirate was about to grab the doctor in a kiss. However, he beat her to it. In a swift movement, he grabbed her face and kissed her hard, easing into a dip.

"Wow, Daniel, I never knew you had it in you. I thought you hated me?"

Having vented that, Daniel was ready to vent some anger. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE! HOW'D YOU GET AWAY FROM THERE! AND WHY didn't you tell me sooner? I was worried." At this last bit, his voice cracked and he nearly fell apart.

She was stunned. She had spent so much of her life making men lust after her, only to find one that wouldn't. And then she had put so much effort into him, he had actually fallen for her. Hard. And it was then that she realized it was more than a challenge that brought her here. This leather loving bitch (she said it proudly) had fallen for just the man she was trying to win. And he cared about more than her body.

The woman didn't know what had happened over the course of the past year and a half to bring her to this position, but she'd be damned if she'd let it win. After all, she was Vala Mal Duran. She could do whatever she wanted. And if that meant figuring out her social life, then so be it.

"How about we have some coffee and talk? I think we have some catching up to do." And, ever efficient, be it in stealing a ship or a heart, she closed his door, invited him in hers, and started coffee.

Hence the beginning.

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Tee hee. I'll let you people come up with the rest yourselves, since I'm really not good at the whole plot thing. Let alone ship. Just this was a major accomplishment for me.

I'd appreciate reviews. or not. you decide.


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